Monthly Archives: July 2014

The First Week

I can not believe my little miracle is ten days old already! In the midst of pain, healing and no sleep it has all been a blissful blur. The pain, the healing the lack of sleep are all amazing because it means I have a LIVE baby. My little guy is such a fighter, he made it! He is here. I just stare at him in awe. He is such a fighter, Timothy and Daniel just couldn’t make it but Jace was able to hold on. I think he somehow had his brothers rooting him on.

He loves to laugh and smile in his sleep. It makes me think that God is letting his big brothers visit him in his dreams.

I have gone picture happy with my cell phone and my big camera, but nothing fancy,

We did have an AMAZING photographer R & J studios come and do some newborn pictures at the hospital, here are a few, I can NOT wait to see the rest!!

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I am still speechless over these pictures and how precious and perfect my little miracle is! I highly recommend Rebecca, her photography and professionalism is amazing, she makes it all so easy and effortless, even when I am in this big yellow hospital gown, it was all totally fine and the pictures all look lovely. Check out her website and book! http://randjstudios.com/blogsite/ She is worth it!

Birth story

I was so ready to write this big ol’ long birth story. I wrote a few pages with my others.

This time was different.

We checked in at 6am ready to be induced.

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Doctor came in at 8am and checked with ultrasound to find his position because we had such a hard time finding and keeping his heart beat on the monitor.

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Little guy is breech. Head up and feet down.

She said we have two options.

Try to flip him.

I said no

Or c-section him. We went with that and Jace was born at 9:55 am this morning July 21, 2014 weighting 6 pounds 5 ounces measuring 19 inches long.

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He is perfect. Perfect!!!!

I am in pain. No one tells you how much after the cesarean hurts!!

After losing three babies total. Two in a row. After never thinking I would carry another baby past 19 weeks I am just blown away. Speechless. Smitten. In love.

It’s The Final Countdown

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Two days left baby!!

I have been counting down for so long, begging God, pleading, telling baby to keep growing. Praying for this miracle to work out and here I sit, two days left. Tomorrow we get some final shopping done and get the hospital bags loaded up. Monday we leave at about 5:30am and head to the hospital to start the process.

It feels so unreal.

 

Tomorrow I get to say TOMORROW!! I just cant wait to get the process rolling!

 

I will be updating my blog as labor and contractions allow me to and will post updates on instagram but I will be staying off of Facebook, going to let my husband manage that one. I am thankful to have so many friends and family waiting for updates and pictures, just reminds me of how many people will be praying for us on Monday. Bring me a little bit of peace when my heart is trying to be anxious.

 

Awkward Questions

I have noticed being pregnant, and almost due….. people ask a crap-ton of questions!

I know they are just excited and curious but I am not one to talk about certain things to people unless it is something I bring up, and then I have to be super comfortable around that person.

Question #1 Are you going to breastfeed? The key for me in that question is BREAST. I am not talking to you about any part of MY body! Thank you. Just know that how I feed my baby is my business and that I NEVER make a decision lightly or uninformed.

Question #2 Are you done having babies after this? The key for me is, how are babies made?? So do you think it appropriate to ask anything about more kids? That is between me, my husband and God, not YOU!!

Question #3 How much weight have you gained?  YIKES!! That’s nunya. None of your business, I just want to ask How much weight have YOU gained in the last few weeks!! Lol

 

EDITED TO ADD

Questions #4 Are you having the baby naturally?   Like what do you mean? With or without drugs? Vaginally or ceseran? Again, how my baby comes out is my business unless I divulge that information to you!!

Also Question #5 Why are you scheduling your delivery? Is it medically necessary? I think this bothers me so much because its almost implying that I would do something harmful to my baby for my own pleasure. Of course it is medically necessary or I wouldn’t be doing it.

 

 

Yes I’m having a boy, yes I am almost due, yes I am ready to be done, yes, I know I am huge.

 

I think I get so uncomfortable with all of the questions because I am a very private person when it comes to private matters. I do not talk about anything of the sort to just anyone. it doesn’t happen, so when people feel the need to ask me certain questions I just want to crawl in a hole and hide. So I am not being mean or not understanding by venting here, I understand but also know my personality.

I am very introverted and shy. VERY.

I get a lot of anxiety in social situations and it takes a lot for me to feel comfortable around someone.

I don’t trust easily and I don’t feel like I can be relaxed and myself with people right away.

 

So I guess just remember that not everyone is comfortable answering your prying questions! I know you are just curious, but curiosity killed the cat. 😉

 

Three days until this baby will be HERE, in my arms!! I may never sit him down. I just can NOT wait!! I go to the hospital today to get all checked in and all the blood work done, finish cleaning tomorrow, get groceries Sunday and then leave for the hospital bright and early on Monday! I don’t normally wish days away but I hope these three days go fast so Monday can be here.

 

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Baby Love

So this pregnancy had been quite the journey…..

 

I have had intense fear, worry and anxiety. I was detached, and terrified to let my walls down.

I had lost all hope in ever carrying a baby past 20 weeks.

I was at a bad doctors, and couldn’t get switched and things just felt hopeless all over again.

I was finally able to switch doctors to someone competent and the hope started building.

She referred me to a thyroid doctor at the first appointment. We got my thyroid on track and I have not had any issues.

My blood pressure has been good (it was high the last two pregnancies that ended in loss)

My thyroid levels were actually good.

Baby was growing right on cue.

 

Now I sit here 4 days from being induced because this little baby boy is so comfortable up in my ribs that he
has not dropped and I am showing no signs of labor at all.

Four days until I being the process of getting to see this blessed miracle face to face.

 

I am nervous to go into the hospital. I am nervous for the whole process.

The last two times I was in the hospital was to deliver still babies.

I guess I can be thankful it is a different hospital otherwise I would feel a lot more scared.

This will be good.

He will be good.

 

Pregnancy after a loss(es) is just a wild and scary journey. You never know if it will end up in another loss or not. You know it happened to you once, it can happen again at any point. You never really can just have a carefree pregnancy, can’t really feel safe until the baby is wrapped up and in your arms. Well in four days we will have ours in our arms. Four short days.

 

Here is the last ultrasound picture, it is hard to tell what it is but it is his face. Toward the middle of the picture is his nose…. oh he is just so cute and sweet already ❤

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These are a few of my favorite things

Just a few of my favorite things from the Pacific Northwest…..people and places. Just a few. The next trip we take back there I will have a lot more to add.

Some Texas favorites will come soon!

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Mountains!! You don’t realize how much you take for granted until you move somewhere FLAT!! Texas is gorgeous in its random quirky ways, but where we are is so flat. When we flew into Portland I almost cried seeing the mountains. They are just awe inspiring and majestic……living there, you tend to overlook them, but once they are gone, you realize just how amazing they are and how lucky you were to get to grow up with them!

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PORTLAND!! Portland is just a hot mess but I adore it. it is fun and funky and so so weird. The most favorite store of mine is Powell’s bookstore. It is like 3 levels, HUGE and CHEAP!! You can get a brand new book with a dime size coffee stain for just a few dollars. Pennies basically. They have sheet music (my husband loves) and all kinds of other things.  Another radness is COFFEE of course 🙂

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When we went to Oregon a few years ago the Powell’s parking garage was full and we could not find a spot so we found this rad yarn store. It was the highlight of my day!! I love funky yarn shops. I also love the yarn bombed tree 😀 Makes me want to yarn bomb things. I think I just love Portland because everyone is themselves and no one judges you.

 

 

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The most awesome daddio EVER!! My dad, he is Pacific Northwest forever. My dad is strong and smart, funny and wise, patient and positive. He hunts (and calls Texan hunters pansies) and loves to go pick amazing chanterelle mushrooms. He can grow anything, he has a garden and loads of fruit trees and so many gorgeous flowers. And my gorgeous sisters ❤ I miss them but am so proud of how good they are all doing.

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Family!! I have ten aunts and uncles just on my dads side. That equals a crap ton of cousins and second cousins. they all live in the Pacific Northwest. I just adore my family and am always so proud of them. We don’t keep in touch very well but we can always pick up where we left off, even if we hadn’t seen each other in years. Family is oh so precious!!

 

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Pastor Ken, he gets his own shout out. Pastor Ken was my grandpa’s pastor at Robert Gray Baptist Church, when my grandpa died I decided to get my life together and get my butt back into church. Pastor Ken was the one and only person that I told about the drugs and partying I was doing. he held me accountable and didn’t judge me. When I met Matthew and we wanted to get married he counseled us, when we lost our first son Ryley to a miscarriage at 13 weeks, he consoled us. He is an amazing listening ear and advice giver, he is super funny and patient, he is wise and fun and laid back, he is so easy to be around. Oh I miss Pastor Ken!!

 

6281184714_e39c61a209_z 6281204852_017c3744f3_b This mimosa tree is the baby of the mimosa tree that I fell in love with as a child. It was big and had a thick trunk that I used to climb and sit in. It blooms the most pretty pink flowers. My dad had to cut that one down and this one started growing in its place! Mimosa trees hold a special place in my heart, they are in Texas as well but this one is extra special to me.

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I have more pictures to add but I will close with this. My son. Ryley J. Our first pregnancy. Our first baby. He is buried up on a hill at a cemetery in Kelso, WA. I think of him often. I always wonder if he would have been the baby that ended up actually looking like me. I wonder what his laugh would have sounded like. If he would have loved gaming like Trevor, or sports, or outdoors, or what. Anyways a huge piece of my heart will always lie in the Pacific Northwest because my precious child is buried there.

The Pacific Northwest is rainy and gray, but the coffee is good and the people will welcome you into their family. The relationships are deep and lasting once you can break through peoples hard shells. The scenery is to die for, the coast will leave you speechless. There is so much to see and do, you will never get bored. Except for in the rainy season. If you can find successful work there, it is a place to set roots and never leave.

 

 

Introduction

I just want to give a little introductory post to my new blog!

 

My name is Stacy. I am a Pacific Northwest girl born and raised. The hills, mountains and rain are in my blood. I grew up in rainy Washington state and loved every gray wet second of it.

I met and married my soul mate there as well.

I have my dad and half sisters there, my mom and her family and loads of aunts and uncles.

I have long time friends there.

 

So adjusting to making Texas home was hard at first.

It is a huge culture shock.

The scenery is different, the climate is different, the language and words used are different, the traditions, foods, and fun are different. It is a whole new world down here.

 

I longed for home for a long time. It really got in the way of a lot here. Home is where ever I live.  PNW will always be home, but Texas is home now too.

My husband has managed to build a beautiful career here. So here we stay!!

 

So this blog will mostly consist of Texas life. Homeschooling, kids, trips, outings, family, photography and us doing life. This blog is a fresh start, my last blog is full of heartbreak and healing over the deaths of two of our baby boys. I had a late term miscarriage at 19 weeks in 2012 and at 16 weeks in 2013. This blog is about the healing and moving forward and the soon to be welcoming of our new rainbow baby due on Monday.

 

I hope to post a lot more.

 

Here is my previous blog of loss and healing, please read it if you need to find encouragement and hope:

http://journeywithmysavior.wordpress.com/