I have to say, I am happy as me. I am happy in my body. I wanted to get down about my body, but then I remembered that this body has housed SIX babies, I only got to keep three but I gained weight and my belly grew for SIX little humans. My body is damn amazing!
Now the only reason I am changing my lifestyle is because I don’t feel good. I am tired, bloated, achy, irritable. I want to be strong, physically but also internally.
I almost lost it today. I threw away some white chocolate chips. Perfectly good, I just didn’t want them in the house. I fought with myself for ten minutes….I wanted to get them out of the trash and eat some of them. I like crap food. I eat my feelings. Its easier to eat them than to face them. It is amazing to me that food can become like a drug.
When we had our last two losses I ate my feeling instead of feeling them. I don’t know if I have gone through grief properly yet. So six pregnancies and a crap ton of grief eating….. and I weight 208 pounds right now. I was 227 pounds in October, 217 in January and am trying to get down to a weight where I feel better. I am not trying to get skinny, I am not trying to hit a certain weight. I just need to feel good and NOT EAT MY FEELINGS!
So here it is.
I am beyond motivated finally.
I have been motivated….
My husband is doing a workout on The Daily Burn. It is one by Ben Booker. Ben bookers story is phenomenal. Read it here . But I went in and did one of the videos with my husband, I was in awe that he has been doing these six days a week for nine weeks now. My husband strength and dedication to getting fit and healthy is amazing.
Jace isn’t sleeping all night, I am tired and overwhelmed, but I am throwing all excuses aside. I can’t find time to workout every single day. 20 minutes minimum. I can make healthier food choices….. I CAN be better and do better.
Watching my husband transform his body has inspired me to attempt to do the same.
It’s not about weight, it’s not a size. I just want to eat healthy everyday and I want to get my feet moving everyday, results will naturally happen.
So this blog will hopefully be more about me getting my life back, taking back my heart and soul and strength. recipes, pictures, stories… please follow!